A Letter to Prospective Employees From His Most Honorable Chief Executive, Aegis Jackson

To All Potential New-Hires:

Since the dawn of time and possibly even before that, people have asked, “What is success?” After over a decade of doing business, I feel quite strongly that FALOTI Corp has not only been able to grasp the meaning of success, but that we are defining its limits for future generations.

What is success?

Success is making up your own rules as you go along. Success is not giving a damn what the health inspector says. Success is blazing a new path, and stepping over the bodies of naysayers and corporate spies as you go along toward that bright horizon of stars.

You have a unique opportunity before you. I’m sure there are plenty of safer employment alternatives available to you, but the reason you’re here is that you’re damn sick of being safe all the time. You want to feel the wind in your hair and the jingle of credits in your pocket. You’re here to find success, and FALOTI Corp is going to lead you to it.

I won’t lie to you. Success isn’t easy. It’s going to take a lot of hard work, blood, sweat and very likely more blood to rise above the endless sea of whiners and complainers out there trying to make a buck – your buck. You’re going to be competing with other people like yourself, probably stepping on toes, maybe break a few noses here and there, but hey. That’s business. That’s what success is all about, kid. Get used to long hours, hard work and no respect from anyone, because nobody starts at the top.

Success isn’t about why, it’s about why not. You ask, why are we so cruel? I say, why don’t you go pack your god damn desk and pussyfoot your way on out of here, because you’re fired. That’s the difference between success and failure, victory and defeat, tipping your private chauffeur a pack of cigarettes or sitting next to a vagrant on the public transportation system each morning. Figure out which one you want to be.

So there it is. You want to be successful? You want that shiny black Origin Jumpworks luxury shuttle? Work hours start at 5 AM every day, Sundays included. The escalator down to the Interns’ Communal Hall is the third door on the left; it’s a long ride, so pack a lunch and keep hydrated. Use the time to reflect on what a long way it is to the top, and how hard you’ve gotta work to get there. We all rode that escalator at some point, everybody’s got to start somewhere. Any complaints can be directed to the mortuary department.

That’s all. Good luck.

-A. Jackson,
CEO Faloti Corp.
The Old World Order, Tomorrow